what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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