Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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