you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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