I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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