They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
