Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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