He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
