Porn is love you can see.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
