I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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