its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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