As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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