Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
