she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
