Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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