Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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