well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize