Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
