i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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