I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
