everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
