i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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