Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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