just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
