At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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