If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Life is so much better after having sex.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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