Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
