Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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