i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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