is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
