I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
