come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
