He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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