ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
