id be glad to
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
