That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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