the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
