put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
