Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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