Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
