And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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