Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
