He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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