i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
