so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
