I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Holy sore nipples Batman
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Pants are for mortals
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
