Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
