please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
