last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He felt like a one man threesome
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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