my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
