Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Randomize
