There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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