i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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