I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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