I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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