Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
