She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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