Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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