is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
