dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
