Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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